Here’s a list of a few things that have helped my grieving process. This list, like my grief, is a work in progress.
“Six Signs of Incomplete Grief” by Robert Taibbi, L.C.S.W.
This brief article continues to serve as a revelation to me. All too often, I believe we equate grief with laying lifelessly on a couch for days on end, failing to realize that the times when we snap at our kids, or we fixate on the worst-case-scenarios, or we numb our feelings with self-defeating behaviors… untended grief is the culprit.
Therapy
Good heavens – whether you’re grieving a major loss or not, consider therapy. It is the shit. Sometimes your insurance covers it. If it doesn’t (which is bullshit and it should be covered and this shouldn’t be so damn difficult but I am not here to get into THAT) , there are aspiring counselors earning hours who can provide therapy for a reduced cost. Here’s just one site that offers a way to find a therapist near you. I know money is tight, but time spent with a qualified and supportive therapist is worth every life-giving and life-saving penny.
Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss by Pat Schwiebert
This is a simple book – and I say “simple” in no way to suggest it is puerile or insufficient. This beautiful book illustrates truth about grief: there’s no one way to do it, no specific timeline, etc. It’s illustrated, but don’t dismiss it as a book just for children. It’s beautiful.
It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lysa TerKeurst
Full disclosure: I am about halfway through this book. I’ve read several of TerKeurst’s books before, but this may be her best, in my humble opinion. Though she isn’t dealing with loss of life, she faces real pain with candor that can be lacking in Bible studies. (I mean – there are things that just SUUUUUUUCK. I’ll not sugar coat that reality with cross-stich-on-pillows-platitudes, y’all.) I’m finding that by reading these chapters s l o w l y, and really meditating on the scripture, questions, and prayers that TeurKeurst includes at the end of each chapter, I’m facing my grief more authentically.